Your Occasional Soviet Joke

Brezhnev goes to a milk production factory and asks:

Do you think that you can double the production?

The farm manager responds:

Yes comrade, we can do that.

Brezhnev is pleased with the response and decides to push it a little and asks:

How about trebling the production?

The farm manager responds but this time a little less confident:

Well, yes we can but I fear public may found it a bit watery!

nature animal agriculture cow

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have a productive day, won’t you!

Glory to Stalin!

Stalin’s reign.

An old lady gets on a bus in Moscow. She has waited a long time, and sits down with a sigh of relief. “Oh, glory to God!” she exclaims.

The bus driver turns around with a grave look.

“Comrade, there is no God. You must say, ‘Glory to Comrade Stalin.'”

The old lady apologizes and pledges to remember this. After a minute, she pipes up,

“Comrade, what shall I say, if, heaven forbid, Comrade Stalin should die?”

The bus driver pauses, and answers,

“Oh! Then you shall say, ‘Glory to God!'”

Have a glorious day, won’t you!

Glory-to-Stalin

“No school tomorrow”

“No school tomorrow” is a plea used by young British schoolkids when begging their parents to let them stay up later than usual on a Friday or Saturday night, usually when the parents just want a bit of peace and quiet without their offspring being around.

Because there was no school tomorrow, my parents used to let me stay up on Fridays to watch NTNOCN, Not the Nine O’Clock News.  That was forty years ago.  Time flies.  Even as a young pads brat, I used to love my current affairs, news, history and politics and was very occasionally (school holidays) allowed to watch Question Time.

NTNOCN did a brilliant spoof of QT.  Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean) does a very accurate impression of Lord… Lord er… Lord er… Lord Peter Carrington.

Here it is.  Enjoy!

Have a questioning day, won’t you!

Your Semi-Regular Soviet Joke

Brezhnev goes to a milk production factory and asks: “Do you think that you can double the production?”.

The farm manager responds: “yes comrade, we can do that”.

Brezhnev is pleased with the response and decides to push it a little and asks: “How about trebling the production?”

The farm manager responds but this time a little less confident: “Well, yes we can but I fear public may found it a bit watery!”

white cow in cattle house

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

Have a productive day, won’t you!

Stalin is *not* Dead

This clip from TV Turkmenistan really does show a fine example of mass sycophancy, not seen since the day of Stalin in the USSR or Ceasescu in Romania.  Not so much HROSL (Huge Roar of Sycophantic Laughter) as HROSA (Huge Roar of Sycophantic Applause).

Here’s the clip.

https://www.rferl.org/a/our-hero-lavish-praise-for-turkmen-president-s-cutbacks/29521371.html

turkmen.jpg

Even Jeremy Corbyn wasn’t afforded this much obsequious applause and adulation at the Labour Party conference.  (And that is setting quite a standard, comrades, Genossen and tovarishchi…)

Have a sycophantic day, won’t you!

Spud-u-Like

Gorbachev visits a collective farm to check on the potato harvest.

The comrade tells Mikhail Sergeyevich, “We have harvested so many potatoes this year, that if we stacked them up one above another, they would rech the feet of God.”

Gorbachev replies, “But, comrade, there is no God.” Our farm worker replies,

“Ha, well, there are no potatoes, either.”

***

Have a collective day, won’t you!

spuds