Spud-u-Like

Gorbachev visits a collective farm to check on the potato harvest.

The comrade tells Mikhail Sergeyevich, “We have harvested so many potatoes this year, that if we stacked them up one above another, they would rech the feet of God.”

Gorbachev replies, “But, comrade, there is no God.” Our farm worker replies,

“Ha, well, there are no potatoes, either.”

***

Have a collective day, won’t you!

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An old East Germany joke

A school teacher asks little Fritz : “Fritzchen, why are you always speaking of our Soviet brothers? It’s ‘Soviet friends.'”

Fritz responds: “Well, you can choose your friends.”

***

Have fraternal day, won’t you!

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Stalin and his pipe

They come, they talk to Stalin, and then they go, heading off down the Kremlin’s corridors.  Stalin starts looking for his pipe.  He can’t find it.  He calls in Beria, the dreaded head of his secret police.

“Go after the delegation, and find out which one took my pipe,” he says.

Beria scuttles off down the corridor.

Five minutes later Stalin finds his pipe under a pile of papers. He calls Beria:
“Look, I’ve found my pipe.”


“It’s too late,” Beria says, “half the delegation admitted they took your pipe, and the other half died during questioning.”

***

Have a questionable day, won’t you!

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Let’s lighten things up…

I’ve recently been writing about death and dying an’ all that.  Today I’m going to lighten up the mood with a joke or two, albeit with a Soviet/DDR flavour.

Here comes number one.

***

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress.

Suddenly someone sneezes. “Who sneezed?”

Silence.

“First row! On your feet! Shoot them!”

They are shot, and he asks again, “Who sneezed, Comrades?”

No answer.

“Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!”

They are shot too. “Well, who sneezed?”

At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, “It was me! Me!”

Stalin says, “Bless you, Comrade!”

***

Have a blessed day, won’t you!

Your Irregular Soviet Joke du Jour

A mummy was found in Egypt. The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet advisor offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet advisor appeared and said, “His name was Amenkhotep VIII.”

“How did you find out?”

“He confessed,” the advisor said.

Have a confessional day, won’t you!

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Fun on Friday

The scene: a Moscow prison.  Two inmates share their experience.

“What did they arrest you for?  Was it a political or common crime?”

“Of course, political.  I’m a plumber.  They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I took one look and said, ‘Hey, the entire system requires replacement.’  So, they gave me seven years.”

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Have a systematic day, won’t you!

Is Jeremy Corbyn anti-Semitic?

Jeremy Corbyn is the Official Leader of the Opposition in the United Kingdom.  He has a penchant for certain hats.

First of all, have a read of this article.

Is JC anti-Semitic?

You decide.  Personally, I think he is not anti-Semitic, but lacks sensitivity to realise the consequences of his actions, and needs to be careful about the company he keeps.

Have a sensitive day, won’t you!

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