The Grenztruppen der Deutschen Demokratischen Republik, the East German border guards, took their job seriously. So did the British soldiers when they used to come to do border patrol.
Except… the Brits being Brits used to like being professional, but also having a laugh. At the expense of the Genossen on the other side of the fence.
Many a female members of the Royal Air Force, when traversing the DDR checkpoint in Berlin, was known to lift off her bra and blouse and show off her ample chest to the Grenztruppen, chanting the following one-liner:
If you’re British, get your t1tties out!
The DDR authorities would then raise a formal protest about another Grenzprovokation via the Soviets, concerning:
…severe indiscipline and courtesy to the military personnel of the German Democratic Republic, especially from female troops, who lacked any form of ladylike behaviour…
And this from a country famous for FKK. How strange.
Troops stationed on the main border used to have their own fun. Here’s one Grenzprovoktation incident.
One bright, sunny Thursday morning, Sunray arrives at the border village of Mattierzoll on his Landrover. Fun time begins.
He places a piece of equipment onto the roof of his Landrover. It has an aerial. He starts pointing the aerial in the direction of the guard tower on the other side. He stands by the vehicle for a several minutes, slowling pointing the aerial in various directions.
A pair of border guards come closer. They scratch their heads. They take photos.
Sunray turns the “scanner” again. He sits in his Landrover, smiling, eating a cheese sandwich.
More border guards come, this time with technical officers, flicking through their British Army reference guidebooks. What is this device on the roof of this Landrover?
Five minutes later, Sunray puts them out of their misery.
He takes the Ministry of Defence issue office bin off the roof. He removes the green-painted coat-hanger and the masking tape holding it to the base of the bin. He holds the bin up to the Genossen to show what it is. He pulls off the old phone cable that had been glued to the bin.
The Genossen, realising that been pranked, shake their heads and march off, muttering under the breath.
Sunray chuckles and jumps back in his vehicle. He has a great story to tell back at the barracks this afternoon.
Have a provocative day, won’t you!