Pack die Badehose ein…

Pack Your Swimming Trunks is the title of a German-language song from the 1950s.  Last weekend Schatz and I did not need to pack them.

We decided to spend Saturday, a glorious, sunny, day (28 degrees celsius) at Unterbacher See, a beauty spot to the south of Düsseldorf.  Specifically, the south beach, where the FKK (naturist/nudist/au naturel) section is to be found.

I had been two or three times before, and I liked it.  Clear water in the lake, very friendly people.  Schatz had seen some of my pictures from Unterbacher See.  She had visited its website.  She, too, wanted to try the place out.

G in G:

Schatz, are you sure you’re happy to go to the FKK section?

Schatz:

Yeah, what’s the big deal?  I’ve sat in the Tecaldarium sauna before.  No problem at all to go there.

G in G:

Fair enough.  Let’s do it then.

One hour and €4 each later we arrive at Unterbacher See.

Schatz:

G in G, you will need to wear one thing here.

G in G:

My glasses?

Schatz:

Yes, and your hat.

We reach the FKK area.  Schatz picks a suitable spot in a slightly shaded area next to a row of trees.

We drop off our things.  Towel, goggles… clothes.

All of them. Every. Single. Piece.  (Except for my hat, of course.)

Schatz gets undressed as casually if she were about to jump into the shower, totally un-bothered about being in her birthday suit (Adamskostüm) with what seems to be half the population of Düsseldorf.  (Well, let’s just say, hundreds of people there.  But only one redhead there – namely, me, Ginge in Germany.)

We both lie down on our beach towels, pretty much oblivious to all the other birthday suits surrounding us.  Schatz rolls over.  I spray sun cream over her body from head to foot.

 

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

The sun cream is a bit cold.  Probably not a bad thing when it’s nearly 30oc.  One side, then the other.  (Now Schatz has a good idea how it is to be a rotisserie chicken.)

Schatz gets her e-book out and starts reading as if she were on her living room couch.  I do the same with my book on Russian grammar… as one does.

After a few pages, Schatz suggests going for a (skinny) dip in the lake.  We go ankle-deep.  It’s slightly cold.  By no means a complaint.  It’s what you need.  Schatz is the first to immerse herself in the water.  Like a coward, I walk into the water up to my armpits.  I then take the plunge.  Literally.

Whoooooar!  That is nice and cooling.  Good job we have waterproof sun cream on.  We swim for a good twenty minutes.  It’s too nice to come back to dry land.  Sailing boats and kayaks cruise by, waving to the people in their bathing birthday suits.  The  bathing birthday suits wave back.

Schatz comes back to our spot, borrows my rucksack to use as a pillow, rolls over and has a power nap.  I read my Russian grammar book.  Schatz is happy and content.

So, overall impression?

  • There is nothing at all erotic about an FKK beach.  If getting a thrill from naked flesh is your “thang,” then visit the internet, not the FKK beach.
  • Everybody there had body confidence.  There were people of all shapes and sizes there, from pensioners to single people, to families with children of all ages, all happily lying there or strolling around.
  • One thing: piercings.  Let’s just say, why would you want to place a bumper sticker on Ferrrari?  Why?  Why?  Why?
  • Nobody stares at you, not even at the only redhead there.  They’re all either reading their newspaper (handy in lieu of sun cream, I guess), their e-reader, or their Russian grammar book.
  • There is nothing as nice and as cooling as swimming au naturel in the lake (temperature: 21oc).
  • Schatz loved the place.  She was happy to lie there without any clothes – or the slightest hint of embarrassment.
  • She loved the coffee and the bratwurst at the snack kiosk.
  • Schatz herself actually mentioned there were no posers in the FKK section, but there were lots of them in the non-FKK section, preening themselves, worrying about their looks, planning the next bleaching of their nasal hair, etc.
  • We both plan to go again.  Next time I will plunge straight into the water, and not just tip-toe up to my shoulders and shiver.  Just take the plunge – literally.
  • From a health point of view, we both got our daily dose of vitamin D and no sunburn.  Bingo!

Have a textilfrei day, won’t you!

fkksignage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So you think you know about Islam?

I have a pet hate, namely people who rant on about subjects where they have “received knowledge” (DE: erhaltene Weisheit) or pure prejudice.  I like the German term: Kneipenprofessor (“pub professor”).  I don’t mind you disagreeing with me – as long as you have done your homework, and not just read some Facebook post/internet meme that fits with your prejudices.

So you think you know about Muslims and Islam?  In that case, have a go at this exam paper.  I sat it in January 1993 and got 61% for it, which is a good 2:1 grade.

EPSON MFP image

To quote the famous barrister, F E Smith, on explaining a point of law to a judge:

You may be none the wiser, but you are most certainly now much better-informed.

You have one and half hours starting… now!

Have an academic day, won’t you!

pen writing notes studying

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Urban Dictionary

Unless you are hyperlexic, you’ll sometimes be wondering what a word means, even if you are a native speaker of English.

So to help you along, here is one of my favourite websites, which covers both British and American English.

Introducing you to Urban Dictionary.

Much to my chagrin, however, they have ceased producing the Urban Dictionary block calendar, which always used to adorn my desk at work.

Schade.

Enjoy the website, and don’t be a bucket mouth!

Have a lexical day, won’t you!

black and white book business close up

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W H Smug

WH Smug is the nickname of a chain of shops in the United Kingdom.

In general it’s a good shop, selling everything from paperclips to bars of chocolate to paperbacks.

But…

Some of its younger staff are like a lighthouse in the desert: very bright, but pretty useless.

Let me summarise three different incidents, three different branches.

INCIDENT 1

Ginge in Germany:

Hello.  Can you tell me where Private Eye is?

Young member of staff (blushing):

Erm, I don’t think we sell that kind of magazine any more.

G in G:

That kind of magazine?  It’s a satirical/current affairs magazine.

YMoS:

Oh sorry, I thought it was… (Blush again.)

***

INCIDENT 2

Ginge in Germany:

Hello.  I’m looking for the video of 1984.

YMoS:

Oh, that’ll be in our “chronic of the year” section.

Ginge in Germany:

I don’t think so.  It’s the film of the book by Orwell.

YMoS:

Who?

Ginge in Germany:

George Orwell.

YMoS:

Sorry, never heard of him.

***

INCIDENT 3

Ginge in Germany:

Hello.  I’d like to order a copy of the film, Animal Farm on DVD, please.

Young member of staff (scowling):

Erm, I don’t think we sell that kind of DVD.

Ginge in Germany (scowling back):

It’s the film of the book by Orwell.

YMoS:

Who?

Ginge in Germany:

George Orwell.

YMoS:

Sorry, never heard of him.

***

bang-head-on-wall

I despair.

Have a smug day, won’t you!

Meeting a Fellow Blogger

Today I was in the library.  I got chatting to a young lady who I’d seen last week.  She was writing copious notes on an A4 writing pad.

Is that study notes for your university course starting next week?

No.  Notes for my blog, which I’ve recently started.

Wow, a fellow blogger!  Do bloggers do secret handshakes and codewords?  No.  We just swap stories and tips, many of which I had picked up from Blogging for Dummies and Blogging for Creatives, as well as from my lovely Schatz, who introduced me to blogging all those years ago.

Blogging is good.

images

Have a creative day, won’t you!

The Trial

I’m more of a factual books reader than a fiction reader.  I have read piles of … for Dummies books.  For a change I decided earlier this year to read Kafka’s The Trial.  That was back in February.  Six months later, I have allowed the book to jump up my backlog of Books to Read.

What can I say?

A real page-turner.  Despite the length of the novel and the small font size in this low-cost copy, I whizzed through it in less than a week, including a mammoth “just one more chapter” session on the past weekend.

My random observations as a non-literary person:

  • If you enjoyed Orwell’s 1984, you’ll love The Trial.
  • Interesting how a new character was introduced in almost every chapter:
    • The housemates
    • The policemen
    • The uncle
    • The court artist
    • The lawyer
    • The prison chaplain
  • The English translation of the title perhaps does not reflect the pun in the German title, Der Prozess, which translates as “The Trial” (as in Nuremberg, Crown Court, etc) and also “The Process” (as in, a series of steps).

Well worth a read, and in my opinion, still very relevant in this day and age.

Have an innocent day, won’t you!