Summer is nearly here in Germany. It was sunny and 24 degrees cee today. Out thoughts turn in this part of the world to soaking in the sun, absorbing the vitamin D and hoping to get the freckles on the Celtic skin to join together to form some kind of a tan. One of our favourite beauty spots is open again. It also has an FKK section. That, in plain English, is the nudist/naturist section, for those of you who don’t know about that part of German culture. (Well, you do now.)
The classic question:
But what if you happen to see your bank manager at the nudist camp? What should you do? What should you say to them?
Well, in these internet days, who really knows their bank manager, anyway? Most of us just do online banking. It’s much more likely for you to have a chance encounter with your local supermarket manager or your local librarian.
So here’s a list of things for you and your local librarian not to say if you happen to see each other au naturel/in the nuddy/the nip/the nod/the raw/in the buff/, in their birthday suit/wearing nothing but a smile etc.
- Ooh I say, now there’s a bookworm!
- I see you’re trying to check me out. I’m afraid that’s reference only.
- What a lovely buff cover!
- Shhhh! Careful when you slam that book shut!
- What a lovely hardback. It must be a limited edition.
- My, my, what a weighty tome!
- Oh, you’ve noticed I’m re(a)d all over! I’ve only my shelf to blame, though.
- You keep giving me wordy looks…
- Oops, that looks impossible to put down.
- You look cold. Is that due to the draft?
- How novel seeing you here, not wearing even a book jacket.
- There’s the librarian. Dewey think thesaurus just now?
- Nice manuscript you got there…
- I’ve noticed your wandering eyes. I guess you must be a fan of Pepys.
- Don’t get all a-browsed.
- You seem a bit shy. Are you perhaps reserved?
Or imagine these conversations:
- That item is long overdue. You have an outstanding fine…
- Oh, thank you very much. An outstanding, fine what, though? [Follow that with a Sid James cackle.]
- Fancy seeing you here! Do you come here with anyone else from the library?
- Well, it was bound to happen. ISBN here a few times. And yes, I quite often hang out here with a few other members.
Have a specially reserved, day won’t you!