Hello. I apologise for the radio silence.
Fact 1: I love to travel, even when a bit hard-up.
Back in November 2008, I had been out of work for several months, but was now working in Oxfordshire. I wanted to visit Düsseldorf for the Chrsitmas markets. To keep the trip low-cost, I decided to take the Eurolines coach there and back and stay in the youth hostel.
Fact 2: I used to snore – until my nasal polypectomy back in 2012.
Late November 2008. A Eurolines coach from DUS to London. £58 return. Bargain. Overnight coach. The place: somewhere on the Belgian motorway. Coach doing about 60mph. The coach is half-full or half-empty. Most passengers are wearing mp3 players or iPods with earphones or headphones. A wise choice.
Ginge in Germany is snoring like a pneumatic drill. Most passengers can’t hear a thing. They have ear/headphones.
One passenger doesn’t. A Ghanaian man who was on his way to visit relatives in Nottingham.
Ever few minutes, thump! Mr Ghana thumps the back of my seat, annoyed at my snoring.
Finally, at 03:30, no thump. Just a furious cry from Mr Ghana, at 100 decibels:
In the name of Our Lord and Saviour – I command you! STOP SNORING, YOU WICKED, WICKED, EVIL MAN!
Even though half-asleep, I offer the most British of replies:
Oh, I’m terribly sorry. I do apologise.
What more can I say or do? Tell our religiously-inspired man, “Hey, you should have brought earplugs.”
Have a sleepy night, won’t you!