Pet hates. We all have one, whether that be people:
- Slurping their tea or crunching their crisps while on the phone
- Squeezing the toothpaste tube at the wrong end
- Trying to get freebie consultations off you if you are a professional, eg doctor or solicitor, while you’re at a party
My number one pet hate is…
Imagine telling someone your plans for the near future.
- I’m planning to buy some new nail clippers
- I need to get a book of stamps so I can send some postcards to friends and family
- My girlfriend is coming to visit me while I’m on my short-term “posting” to England
Imagine then being bombarded the rest of the afternoon with unrequested SMS’s and emails containing:
- Recommendations about where in Oxford you can buy nail clippers, and where to avoid, as the assistant was rude to me. (I have read shorter PhD theses than these texts. Kyrie eleison.)
- Tips about why nail scissors are better than nail clippers because I once cut off the end of my big toe when I was 16
- Exhortations not to waste your money sending postcards by 1st class, and how I will teach you to save money and be thrifty
- Queries about why send postcards by airmail when you can (guess what!) be financially sensible and send that postcard to your friend in the South Pacific by surface mail. If not, you have more money than sense.
- Brow-beating advice to book into a good value guesthouse, followed by accusations that you and your Schatz are not financially literate when you politely explain that Schatz likes a bit of luxury
- Email ping-pong then ensues for another two hours, despite telling Ms TripAdvisor/Self-Appointed Life Coach, “I am to bed for a lie-down. Catch you tomorrow.” (SMS bombardment continues.)
Good people out there. Take heed.
Please do not give (me) unsolicited advice, as the reply, “I am not in the slightest bit interested” often offends.
Have an advisory day, won’t you!