What is your Black Beauty moment?

So, a cup of coffee in one hand, my latest book order from Amazon in the other hand.  The book?  No, not Harry Potter, not Fifty Shades of Grey, not even a for Dummies book.

The Empathy Trap

I always like a bit of light reading…

I received the book on Thursday and got to the final page on Sunday.  A very accessible book, written by academics, but written in very down to earth language.  Quite a lot of sucking in of air while reading it, especially when reading the case studies of people who’ve had relationships with sociopaths, whether as family or colleagues.

Towards the end comes the section on triggers.  What’s a trigger?  Essentially it’s something that reminds us of the sociopath.  Think of Pavlov’s dogs and their mouths watering whenever they hear a bell ringing.  Their mouths water when they experience the trigger associated with din-dins.  For people that have had close contact with a sociopath, the reaction is somewhat different: hair standing on back of neck, and increased blood pressure and heart rate, waiting for their next move.

I myself have called such triggers a “Black Beauty moment.”  Why?  Black Beauty was a series in the 1970’s with quite a haunting theme tune.

Black Beauty

In the late 70’s, early 70’s it was broadcast on Sundays at about lunchtime in the UK.  I still even now associate the tune with:

  • The sewage-like stench of boiling cabbage
  • The aggressive hissing of a pressure cooker
  • The pressure cooker countdown to a blazing row between Sunray and his first wife because of his hangover caused by overindulgence down the Serjeants Mess the night before
  • The impending attempts by Sunray to force me to eat cooked vegetables, including the sewerage cabbage
  • Stress and emotional abuse (although it was never called that in those days.  We pads brats were just expected to get on with it and get over it.  The spouses were expected to take the abuse on the chin… and in the face… and in the stomach… and in the rib cage.)

Have a trigger-free day, won’t you?

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