Fame. Or notoriety. Will I ever achieve either?
Probably not. I’ll probably only ever be a legend in my own bathtime. (I have been on TV three times, but that’s another story. Andy Warhol and his Fifteen Minutes of Fame.)
Whenever I think of diaries, I play the word association game and think of:
- Samuel Pepys (“And so to bed.” He also wrote on Friday 9 October 1663, “I could neither have a natural stool nor break wind…”)
- Adrian Mole (“Swedish leather exports.”)
- Anne Frank (I visited her house in Amsterdam. Well worth a visit.)
- The forged Hitler diaries.
Now, this is all terribly, absolutely, typical British toilet humour, but whenever I think of the Hitler diaries, I recall Alexei Sayle on TV, saying in a stage German accent:
Ze teplets I heff bin taking for heartburn have been givink me sahch terrible flatulence.
(“The tablets I have been taking for heartburn have been giving me such terrible flatulence.”)
It’s been a quiet evening on the TV, so I decided to google the original German text.
“Die ständigen Anstrengungen der letzten Wochen verursachen mir Blähungen, und Eva sagt, ich habe Mundgeruch.”
A slight variant, probably adapted for TV.
Have a flatulence-free day, won’t you!