My dear esteemed colleagues
A polite request to you, at least, to my male colleagues…
- When I am in the showers or otherwise in a state of undress in the changing rooms at the office:
- Please do not talk shop to me.
- In fact, please do not talk to me at all. Punkt.
- Please wait till I am in business attire, or in fact, any attire.
- The same goes for when I am in the shower cubicle at the telephone exchange. Please, please, please, do not enter the nearby toilet cubicle, copy of The Sun under your arm and then start babbling on to me about your specialised subject, whether that be:
- Tonight’s televised football match
- The t1ts on that new secretary
- The filling in your sandwich
- Any ex-HM Forces “when I was stationed in…” anecdotes (I know them all off-by-heart, anyway)
Executive summary: when I am in the shower, for crying aloud, please give me ten minutes (just six houndred seconds) so I can:
- Smell of Body Shop pink grapefruit shower gel in a truly metrosexual way
- Get dried off
- Get some clothes on
If you insist on not complying with my request, I will cease to shower after cycling to work and hot-desk the whole day next to you. Then you can talk to me all day if you can stand the smell.
Verstanden? Herzlichen Dank!