Johnny P was a scrap dealer living next to Mrs Woodbine in the hamlet of Burrill. Victor and Alpha were sons of MAW, serving in HM Forces. In the days before spam, there was “proper” post, brought by the postman (or postwoman). Burrill had a postman. In bygone days of yore, there was no Sunday shopping in the UK, except for the newspapers.
Victor and Alpha used to read the Sunday papers from cover to cover. There was little else to do on Sundays in those days. Well, except, clip out the adverts, especially for holiday brochures and goods on approval.
Fast-forward to the following week.
A conversation across the dry stone wall.
Mrs Woodbine: Now then, Johnny.
Johnny P: Now then, Mrs Woodbine. ‘Ow are you?
Mrs Woodbine: Alreet thanks. I see t’postman brought you a big package this morning. ‘Ave you ordered summat f’ t’wedding anniversary?
Mrs Woodbine: Nay, some bugger ‘as gone an’ ordered me a pair of size 15 wellies.
As Victor would say: And I laughed.