So, nothing much on TV, and today’s DVD afternoon having been postponed. Time to look through the photo album. Found a good ‘un. Christmas 1992 on a visit to Magdeburg and Halle to visit a friend I’d got to know on my year abroad in Voronezh, Russia. Here it is. A Trabant, classic DDR car, being used for delivering pizzas.
OK, so let’s roll out those DDR jokes…
Q. How do you double the value of a Trabant?
A. Fill up the tank!
Q. How many workers does it take to build a Trabi?
A. Three, one to cut, one to fold and one to paste.
Q. How do you measure the acceleration of a Trabant?
A. With a diary.
Q. Why do some Trabants have heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm when pushing.
Q. What’s the difference between a Jehovah’s Witness and a Trabant?
A. You can shut the door on a Jehovah’s Witness.
Q. When does a Trabi reach its top speed?
A. When it’s being towed.
During a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there was a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivered more quickly than that, he thought it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection. Sight unseen, he made a request to order this Trabant. In Zwickau they were aware of this great honour, and the potential PR coup, so they immediately changed the running “Five-Year Plan” and arranged to send him the very next car off the line. The car reached the Emirates in a matter of weeks, instead of years. The happy oil sheik immediately called his friends together, opened the container, and exclaimed in surprise: “Gosh! They may have incredibly long delivery times, but at least they send you a plastic model in advance — and the best thing is you can even drive it!”
A man went into a Trabant dealership and said to the salesman: “I’d like to buy a Trabant with a two-tone color scheme please? The salesman replied: “Certainly sir, we have one with that colour scheme, plus power steering, cruise control, adjustable power seats, air conditioning, and a digital instrument panel”. The man replied: “You’re joking!”. The dealer responded: “Well, you started it!”
A cow pat asked a Trabant: “What are you?” The Trabant replied: “A car!”
The cow pat responded: “If you’re a car, then I’m a pizza!”
Finally, there’s the man who goes to buy a car in East Berlin, pays for it, and is told by the salesman that he can collect it on a particular date in 10 years’ time. The buyer thinks for a moment and then asks: ‘Morning or afternoon?’
The salesman, astonished by the question, asks: ‘What difference does it make?’
And the buyer answers: ‘Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.’ (Or should that be, “The pizza I ordered”?)